This week, as many people set intentions with the new moon, I will be making wishes. Like blowing a dandelion into the wind, I will release my hopes and dreams to the Universe and imagine them as seeds. Believing they will find fertile ground, I will set them free to take root. I will try to trust that someday, somewhere, as I walk through life, unexpected blossoms will catch my eye and I will recognize that I once held their seeds in my hand.
Some seeds seem so precious and full of potential that I can't help but hold onto them. I want to nurture them, whisper to them and give them continual love and encouragement. I forget that they are their own beings, separate from me, and that they need space and time to produce fruit. I want so much to hold the end result that I smother the beginning. I know and see what each seed will produce but I can't, for the life of me, trust that they will develop naturally without my constant attention. Although my mother told me countless times that a watched pot never boils, I keep on watching.
Being intuitive is not as glamorous as it sounds. So many times in my life, I have been fairly certain of something and end up having to wait years for it to come to fruition. There are times when I know something about someone the minute I lay eyes on them. I get a sense or feeling of their inner truth or potential which they may not even recognize themselves. As much as I want to encourage that to grow, I know that the work is not mine. It is easier to encourage children because they are constantly trying to evolve. With adults, I must offer what I have, be patient and trust in what will be. Doing my job is easy, the struggle is in the letting go.
After as much experience as I have had, it would seem that I would trust my knowing. In general, I trust it completely when it comes to what I see for others. I hold such hope for my clients, students, friends and family that I know for certain that they will receive everything they need. When it comes to holding this belief for myself, I doubt. Right now, I believe I know what lies ahead for me. I feel it so palpably that I can almost see and touch it. Yet, I am paralyzed as I wait for it to materialize and I know that is because I am not giving it the space to do so.
My new moon practice this week will not be to set intentions of things I will work toward this month. Instead, in true Gemini form, I will blow seeds to the wind. I will write my wishes down and burn them. I will hold out my hands and say, "Take this from me. I can't hold it anymore." I will trust the air to carry it and feel my burden lighten. I know that if I do this, all that I am waiting for will make it's way to me in perfect time, effortlessly.