This morning I woke hearing a message from the universe. It said, “ I will meet all of your needs, Shawna. All you have to do is receive.” I knew instantly that this truth soaked into me overnight, as I felt the pull of the moon so potently I could barely sleep. The moon represents feminine energy. She shines not because she toils to do so. She simply receives the light and reflects it back, illuminating the darkness.
I spent much of my life toiling. I felt I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders until one day, it was too much to bear. I had to put it all down. When I did this, I began to transform. I connected to something powerful and terrifying which lit up the darkest parts of me. I began to have very vivid dreams, one of the first being about the arrival of a goddess named Luna. And this goddess said only one thing, in a whisper so powerful that it shook me to the core. She said my name.
The years that followed were both painful and beautiful. In my dream, Luna announced the dawning of a new era of life for me. During this time, I existed in the dark and allowed the light to reflect off of me, illuminating deep craters of past trauma. I saw them and recognized their pain. I decided to wear them proudly, like battle scars, knowing I could never make them go away. This process took years of my life but in the end I realized the only way to achieve anything is to simply accept it.
There is a reason that the moon governs the flow of the tide. She doesn’t resist phases and change. She accepts that every day is different and she is wise enough to know that cycles repeat in perfect time. She doesn’t fight transformation, she embraces it. The ocean feels her pull and reflects its own rhythm, ever changing yet keeping a perfect pace.
It is time for all of us to simply receive. Receiving is paradoxically painful because it requires an inaction that feels vulnerable and uncomfortable. It requires a trust in the giver, whom we cannot see. It also requires flexibility and bravery in order to be able to accept what is given, unconditionally and gratefully. We must know that even if the gift doesn’t live up to our own expectations, the giver knows what is best for us.
I sit here in wait along with much of the world. Even though I know gifts are coming and believe this with all of my being, I needed a reminder this morning. To me, these days feel like Christmas. I want to rush down the stairs and see what is waiting under the tree. It’s still dark outside and my parents said I had to wait until morning. It will come. It always does.